Fetish Flame

Posted by: 3xL at February 7, 2007 08:11 AM

Hi A&N!

I really enjoyed the talk about kids and kink. Being a father I know that's it's a issues of great importance that all kinky parents need to deal with sooner or later. You could do a full show on that subject.

Rubber hugs

/3xL

Posted by: Ms. Thrash at February 7, 2007 02:31 PM

I emailed this to a Fetish Flame listener some time back...I thought it might help with Kids and Kink.............

On that note I don't know if I can help, but start with a good lock on the bedroom door...start closing the door when you can to make sure the kids are not to curious that is it closed....set up the bedroom if possible so the bed is not the first thing you see when you open the door and come in the room...

invest in a lockable trunk to store your toys in. If the kids ask put a few blankets on the top of the toys...then you can open it and it isn't interesting..use bondage tape rather than rope or cuffs...you can cut it and get out quick....keep a robe close by...buy toys that are not to noisey...some vibrators sound like small aircraft...instead of ball gags and blind folds try scarves and sleeping mask(blindfold)...can be in the open with no questions...keep the sleeping mask around and they get used to it..buy it at bed bath or some place........you can purchase straps that go around the mattress to attach your partner to...then unhook and stuff under mattress...no one the wiser....kids do get into things so sometimes the best solution is to make regular items into bondage items...saves money often too...or as I said buy a trunk with a good lock .....

as for actually play time...well that can be tough even now with teenagers it is hard.....I play music or the tv alot when I am in my room..so during playtime you turn it a bit louder and no one gets interested....take time out and relax...for couples with kids it is hard to have together time with out kink...it is a matter of making time and the mood...don't look at it as switching gears at the end of the day...set it up mentally.....One of the men I have played with would start emailing me with erotic thoughts two weeks ahead of time..it moves from just teasing to actual instructions....so that by the time the day comes I have been carring my collar to work in my pocket...using a bullet vibe just before a shower...no one can hear becuase the water is running....those kinds of thoughts for a long time make it possible to go from mom and dad mode to lover mode easier..Someone once said that a woman needs a warm up, because you can't gun a cold engine...well I think that is true for couples with children....notes in your lunch or car....instructions to go purchase a scarf that will be used as a gag....that can be very much a turn on ....play on a weekend...when you can both take a little time and rest...one take the kids to the store the other gets to nap...that way later the kids are tired, but Mom and Dad are not.....

I very much believe in couple time or dates...the two of you do not have to be home with the kids all the time...get a sitter and book a hotel...I do that even now...the local hotel staff know that I live down the street....so I make jokes that I will be a much happier mommy when I go home...check in 3 hours later check out....leave the kids grandma and grandmpa for the weekend....then you can really turn it on...when checking in...arrive at different times....one of you sets the stage and the other picks up their key at the desk...comes to the room and the games begin....

the most important thing for the two of you is not kink time...it is couple time...when you learn how to make that ...then you can work in the rest....start small and as it gets easier then you can hang from the ceiling again

Ms. Thrash

Posted by: SE7EN14 at February 9, 2007 03:10 PM

Though it's always interesting to have the professional types interviewed, I feel the real strength and charm of FF is to hear about regular people talking about how their interests developed and how they've adapted to the changes.

Thanks for a great show!

Posted by: Adventures of R&G at February 20, 2007 08:01 PM

Thanks for the tips guys, fantastic timing Ms Thrash. Our 'special' wardrobe has been moved to the attic. We have only 2 months to go till parenthood ! Miss you both... more Flame to catch up - Great !

Posted by: Shoo at March 23, 2007 04:13 AM

I listened to 6 fetishflame pod casts during a trip this week. And this was one I relistened to. My thoughts on the parenting this are this: Having kids does NOT kill your kink. My kids (twin 14 year olds and an 8 year old) know that my wife and I have fun. They know my wife has a pole for pole dancing and they have played on it a couple of times. Now, we don't run around the house with her leather collar and school girl outfit. But they know that their parents have sex and its fun. The critical part is to teach your kids about sex and teach them that people have sex lots of different ways, and thats ok. As long as its consensual then its ok. So if my older kids ask about something, I am going to explain to them. How much better off would they be if they understood sex at a young age. It took me until I was 35 to truely accept my fetish and accept myself. I REFUSE to let my kids think that wild sex is bad or wrong. I accept my responsiblity to my kids that I teach them and raise them to become great people. And thats the model we continue to follow. Love your kids, love your sex life, love your life. Does there have to be a gap between them?..
Enjoy your kink, its what makes you you. :)

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