Fetish Flame

Posted by: KitKat at October 11, 2005 11:36 PM

Thanks to A&J. It was interesting to hear another couple talking about their experiences.

I'm really curious how A went from totally not enjoying the first experience to then giving it another chance. A, did it just take time to muster up courage to try it again, or did you guys just have to talk more about it until you were ok to try again?

Posted by: A at October 12, 2005 07:38 AM

I would largely attribute me not enjoying the first experiences to the humiliation and shock I felt. I wasn't at all expecting to respond in such a psychological way. Me and J had just started dating. I think the session freaked me out since he was trying to live up all of those thoughts and pent up frustration all at once. It was too much to start off with. Could you fathom your date buying diapers, bottle and a pack of fleet enemas ?! Oh yeah and whipping out the camera lol I say this in a lighthearted now but at the time I was a bit taken back. Also I don't recall very much post session discussion. That was a bad call on my part since I am the more experienced person in the scene of the two of us. I underestimated what he intended for the session. I see myself as a bit experienced and he was "new meat" to the scene. Every time I underestimate him I just wish I would learn that lesson already *wink

Love does crazy things !! Honestly I would have to say I was fortunate to come from a family with a SUPERB work ethic and very open to all communication regarding anything. This continues to help get through difficult moments. It took me a few months and I "came around" on my own time and my own terms. There was much discussion and romance. I say romance because J would find small token items related to the kink on line and have it shipped here. What wife doesn't love being thought of no matter what the reason? I don't see any hands. I felt pretty special when three pairs of extremely frilly panties arrived here from Hot topic. I was going to wear my black pair to the podcast but sadly they didn't fit quite right under the black knee length silk skirt:(

I gave it another go because it wasn't fair to deprive someone especially my partner of one of his kinks. I wouldn't want him to do that to me(not like I would miss a few off of my LONG grocery list of fetishes :P ). I took it up as a personal challenge. I am someone that will do damn near anything to please so I knew I couldn't drop the ball on this fetish of his. We all have a bad go at something like.. oh how about the first time most people have sex(ewww vanilla sex lol). I am sure glad I didn't stop trying, how about you ? hehe Oh yeah and I am stubborn to a fault.

p.s. Nova is in fact more cute and sexy than her voice lets on that she is ;) I bet Atticus could pack a good spanking. They were very generous to invite J and myself to be on their pod cast. We are still all giddy over the visit. Thanks again!!!

Posted by: J at October 12, 2005 10:54 AM

Ill try to get A to respond to this comment as well but wanted to get something up as part of a comment for you. The first experience was simply trying too much too fast. I mean take a 20 year old woman, dress her in nothing but a diaper and expect that she use it as well all on the first time. Horrible error on my part, however, it was an important error because lucky for me we over came that and learned how to insure it didn't happen again. And through what I have learned there it will better help her and I in the future because we know better that with a first time trial sort of thing we need to take it slow otherwise it turns into an overload on emotions and could destroy the chances for ever trying that sort of play again. Anyways, im already well over what I thought I would write, but as I said Ill try to have A write her side on things.

J

Posted by: DL82 at October 14, 2005 04:45 AM

Thanks for the podcast. I just recently told my new wife that I have a very similar fetish except I wear the diapers. I'm a DL like J, and don't enjoy soiling very much. They're very sexual to me and I enjoy them a lot.

My wife was horrified and taken back. She even cried. She tried to understand the who/what/how and has been a little bit better but I still don't wear and we don't talk about it really. That's how we're dealing with it at the moment.

Can you guys suggest any way that I can ease her into accepting that I want to continue to enjoy my fetish without pushing her away?

Posted by: Nova at October 14, 2005 03:23 PM

DL82,
We are sorry that your initial discussion did not go as well as you would have liked. But to me it sounds like there is a strong chance for growth and understanding. "She tried to understand" warms my heart, it shows she loves you and isn't running away.

I am very glad that you asked this question because we are going to talk about a wonderful podcast on fetishes on our next show.
Please take the time to listen to Violet Blue's Open Source Sex Show number 16, (Well, if you have the time, listen to them all!)

She covered in one half hour what I would like us to take a life time to expand upon. Her education and experience lead to a very well explained recipe for couples. I highly suggest you listen to it first, and if you think your wife is open to it, listen to it together.

Let's chat more via email.
xoxo
Nova

Open Source Sex#16
http://violetblue.libsyn.com/index.php?post_id=17739

Posted by: windsor at October 15, 2005 04:56 AM

Your podcast just hit the noticeboards, and I'm sure you'll have a handful of posts after not too long. I'm impressed that you covered this little known topic. Thank you for the podcast.

There are reports that there are tens of thousands of us around the planet. It is probaby going to be a growing culture with the ways kids are raised these days. From my research, the two greatest contributers to this fetish are 1. kids that were potty trianed too early and forced to grow up too quickly, that never get over that innocent feeling of diapers, and end up longing for that nurturing feeling forever -or- 2. Kids that wet the bed beyond infancy and often into their teens that go through puberty and the initial sexual development while wearing them.

And thank you for noticing the complexities of the needs and desired relationships. It is a shameful part of a lot of our lives, and we all take and need different parts from it. The shame comes from those pre-programed rules of culture that regression is bad and that adults should strive for growth and maturity, not the simple times when they were little.

If for any reason you re-visit this topic and need a different perspective. Or if you are looking for additional answers, please let me know. I'm 28, married (2 years married and 9 years in relationship) and I've been through all the ups and downs and confusion of this process. Ultimately we have had a successful resolve, and I think its important for others in our little community to know that this doesn't ruin you life - it can enhance it in amazing ways.

windsor

Posted by: Nova at October 15, 2005 06:19 AM

windsor,
yes, we are getting a lot of great emails from other Adult Babies and Diaper Fetishists. in fact, we are having a fetishist come by next week to talk a bit more indepth about diaper dominance.
We wanted to focus more on the relationship of J&A - and I'm glad we did because they had some wonderful insight into how to make it work when one has a fetish such as diapers that the other doesn't share.
But in one of our near future shows we're going to get a bit more 'down and dirty' in the specifics of this fetish.

I'm going to contact you via email for a bit more information, and to hopefully start a dialogue that will give us even more knowledge on this fetish.

Recently I did a search for diaper tribes and groups in the popular online forums and was amazed at how few groups there were for this as opposed to some of the more 'common' fetishes. I am curious if that is because diaper fetishists stay a bit longer in the closet due to concerns or fears of social acceptance or reactions, or y'all are just more organized and don't create 150 groups when you just need a few ;)

Stay in touch. Let us know what you think of the future show that we do with the diaper fetishist.
xoxo
N

Posted by: Nova at October 15, 2005 06:37 AM

Windsor,
Would you have any websites or support groups that you would suggest to DL82? (see his note above)
did you go through something similar?

thanks again for offering to share your experiences and knowledge!

Posted by: windsor at October 16, 2005 03:24 AM

Do I know of any websites or support groups - unfortunately not any really functional ones. Most of our support groups and message boards tend to structure themselves over arguments on grammar, and more recently on who has contributed more to the greater community for our growth.

Have I been though anything like this - yes and no. Yes, because this has taken my wife 9 years to begin to understand and become comfortable with this fetish (it has taken me the entirety of my life and I haven't quite mastered it yet either). It has been a process of growth and understanding and compromise and easing into the situation.

I think its easy to see in hind sight that his situation is that much more difficult because it is only now being introduced into the relationship. It is always a struggle to think that you might not really know the person that you are sharing your life with. Even if it is just a fraction of your life, it is a part of you that this really important person in you life knows knothing about. I don't think there is a message board out there that could talk you through the challenges of this process. I'd recommend counseling if they were both willing. There are a lot of kink friendly counselors that will be better able to understand both perspectives and mediate towards a middle ground. It is going to be a very long and emotionally charged process. Even if she is ultimately willing, there is going to be some emotional dammage.

There are some best practices to opening up a conversation about this, but they are generally more successful in newer relationships. Not everyone is meant to match up. Some people have kinks, some have all sorts of them, and some are uncomfortable with any of them. Somewhere along the line we all have to bite the bullett and take our chances. Can this person love me - all of me, or is it time to realize that that isn't going to happen and continue my search.

DL82 is far beyond this part, so the conversations are going to be much more difficult. He needs to find his way out of the closet - slowly enough not to scare her away, but honestly enough as to not leave any unanswered questions. I'm sure he has a lot to learn about himself as well. We all do. We tend to weave our opportunities around our partners. Life long fantasies are manipulated to incorporate this actual person into them. Our likes and dislikes are altered to accommodate our partner's feelings and comfort levels. And then there are those absolute uncompromised needs as well that never really fit in to the relationship. My interests now are very different than they were 10 or 15 years ago. Some because they just evolved, and some because I found alternatives that kept my partner happy and in the end were more satisfying to both of us.

I can imagine that any fetish creates a lot of lonliness and isolation in life. It is always a struggle to find someone compatable with our desires. Hopefully he and his wife can understand that they have countless bonds and compatabilities in all aspects of life. This is just one more facet, it doesn't change who he is at the core. He doesn't need to find someone inside of the community to make his life amazing (which is almost impossible anyway given the ratio of males to females (100:1)). And she doesn't need to share this specific fetish, she just needs to share in his life and act as a participant wherever possible in all facets of life.

But, find a counselor to work with. And good luck.

windsor

Posted by: Annie at October 16, 2005 07:18 AM

I just listened to your show on the diaper fetish and I was pleased to see such an intelligent discourse on the topic. Thank you! I'm also very happy just to find out about your show.
I am a 25 year old female ABDL. I float the line between "baby" and "diaper lover", and I am in a long-term relationship with a man who shares my fetish. I was actually into diapers before I met my boyfriend, but hadn't really accepted it as part of my sexual makeup and hadn't felt comfortable approaching any of my boyfriends about trying it.

Like A & J, we have worked together to develop our vision of how diapers will work into our lives. With his support, I've actually crossed over into wearing diapers 24/7. I don't consider myself an Adult Baby, as I am very much an adult woman, but I do carry the diapers with me as a reminder of our play.

Again, thank you for such a wonderful, mature discussion of diaper fetishes. I look forward to hearing about other fetish topics!

Posted by: DL82 at October 17, 2005 04:13 AM

Windsor and Nova and the rest,

Thanks for the warm and well thought comments. I wanted to follow up upon what was said. I decided that it was best for us to get into our marriage a little further before I start bringing the diapers back into it again. We've been married less than 6 months and I want a good strong foundation before I add the roof so to speak.

She knows it does not change me as a person at the core. She loves me and has said she wants to be a part of every aspect of my life and she is trying to understand my fetish. She has said she is afraid that my diaper wearing will interferre with our sex life if she doesn't participate (because she's not comfortable yet). She also won't tell me not to wear them but she doesn't want to see me in them yet, it's too weird for her right now.

I think with a little time and a lot of talking and understanding I will be able to share this with my wife. My marriage is more important to me than my diapers, so if it comes to that I would give them up. I don't think I'll ever completely get rid of them (the thoughts atleast), but I've given them up physically for now.

I'm very greatful for the comments and the podcast, and you've gotten a new listener. You have my email if you have any need for contact for questions etc.

Posted by: reval5 at October 19, 2005 08:00 AM

Bravo!

Let me be the latest to add my kudos to this site for such a wonderful approach to this, and it seems any other, fetish.

I recently started a relationship with a wonderful woman who has more than passing knowlege about the fetish world, even if mine was new to her. I 'spilled the beans,' as it were, quite early on in the relationship because my last girlfriend found out without my knowlege and that quickly died a gruesome death. I got out of that situation determined not to let that happen again.

As my fetish takes up more than a passing fancy in my life, I'm glad that it's "out there," even if we haven't discussed it since. I know she's looking in to it, but I'm not forcing the issue. To be frank, I don't want her to be a part of a scene unless she's willing, so I tend to take a very backseat approach. However, since I found your site, I may send her the link, if only to spark a conversation.

Thanks!

Posted by: Nova at October 19, 2005 02:50 PM

Reval, You made my day.
"However, since I found your site, I may send her the link, if only to spark a conversation."

If our podcasts can help start conversations in areas where people are feeling incredible apprehension on how to do that, then my world is a happier place.

And you bring up something else we've touched upon and may dig a little deeper into in the future is: a partner who *tries* to be a part of the fetish with their partner when they are apparantly not enjoying themselves or into it all that much.
I'm putting together a poll/question to throw out to listeners soon that includes questions on ust that.

Have a great day!
xoxo
Nova

Posted by: Baby Junior at October 19, 2005 11:56 PM

Its great to see abs coming out to play and i like to say come and visit my very populor ab website www.babyjunior.net always updated everyweekend ! and if you like to buy ab cloths and stuff visit www.cosykins.com with great pricers and 1st post

Posted by: Kris at October 22, 2005 01:18 AM

Some time ago I was looking for information, to find new ideas and placed it all together on one website. The text I wrote is still in Dutch, so I thought I could share the references here.

English
o www.daddys-girl.net About a couple into ABDL play
o www.toddlertime.com/dx/regression/infantilism.htm > www.toddlertime.com/dx/regression/infantilism-feedback.htm A text by Kathi Stringer, a psychologist
o www.marybethsanford.com/sec500/pg02.html Some corrections by Thomas John Speaker of wrong ideas thought by Wilhelm Steckel
o www.thebrc.net > www.thebrc.net/articles/indexes/a_d.shtml All that begins with "age" is subject of ageplay (original from www.mybdsm.com/pages/Vamp)
o www.babyjamie.com > www.babyjamie.com/journal/research.html A research from a graduate student at NYU
o www.geocities.com/Heartland/Meadows/5838 The english support group for infantilists
o www.tampafetishparty.com/writings/diaper_domination.htm Domination related to the diaper fetish
o www.ageplay.org A large ageplay website
o en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ageplay Some short definitions
o www.mommiesscents.com Just for fun, they sell perfume to make diapers and babypowder smell like they used to in the early days

English (selected by J&A)
o www.dailydiapers.com > www.diapermates.com
o www.sissybecky.com
o www.dpf.com

Non english
o users.telenet.be/abdlinfopunt/main.htm The website I wrote, you can follow "Adressenlijst" to have an overview of the websites grouped together. For Dutch people, you can read a text about the ABDL scene "Theorie", as well some experiences and ideas by other people and couples "Mensen aan het woord (enquête)".
o www.abkingdom.com > worldlinks.abkingdom.com Here you may find interesting new websites regulary. For French people, this one is the place where the messageboard is most active.
o www.luiers.org A respected and good moderated message board and chat for Dutch people
o www.diaperworld.org Rating and pictures of diapers with nice comments in French (navigation is partly English)
o www.diaperdudes.nl Informative page written in Dutch

Meeting places in USA
o www.sidny.org Sidny is an NYC organisation that organizes meetings, and has an educational section (which is currently in redesign, so be patient)
o www.hasmako.com Hasmako organizes parties in West Virginia
o www.diaperfest.com Diaperfest organizes meetings in TN
o orcinus.dynip.com/TAG Toronto AgePlay Group organizes meetings in Toronto

Meeting places in Europe (Netherlands)
o www.creche-bebe.nl
o luierzondag.luiers.net
o www.avsh.nu/luier_groep.htm

IRC Chat channels, all are accessible through users.telenet.be/abdlinfopunt/main.htm, follow the link "Chat"
o Luiers (Galaxynet) Dutch
o Couche (Undernet) French
o Couches (EpikNet) French, from ABKingdom.com
o Diapers (Undernet) English
o Diapers (Efnet) English
o DPF (Efnet) English

Posted by: Nova at October 22, 2005 03:56 PM

Kris -
Thank you so much for taking the time to put all these links together. We continue to learn more about this fetish, and look forward to Part II sometime next month.

We are hearing from more diaper fetishists outside of the US and I know that everyone will find this information helpful.

I am blown away at how wonderful the diaper community is, and am loving getting to know more people in it through the shows.
=gush=
Nova

Posted by: Roy at October 25, 2005 01:42 PM

Hi,

First of all: thank you for the great podcast in which you discussed diaper fetishism. It made it all across the ocean.

I live in Europe (the Netherlands) and I am a diaper fetishist myself. I know all about the joys and the problems that come along with it. To help others to cope with the problems and to be able to enjoy it, I have started a second bi-monthly get-together for diaper fetishists and so called "adult babies". Shows like yours help people to accept themselves or others so I hope you keep making these, for all people with all fetishes, kinks and such.

With love, from Holland,
Roy

Posted by: Nova at October 30, 2005 05:08 AM

Roy,
It sounds like you are also doing a great service to build a communty AB/DLs.
We're glad to have you with us!
xoxo
Nova

Posted by: Floyd Pepper at November 2, 2005 03:45 PM

Just wanted you guys to know that your Podcast on the Diaper Fetish was not only awesome, but (in my opinion) the first show in any form of media to cover the topic so perfectly. As I'm sure you may have heard from others in the community, we have seen so many attempts at covering AB/DLs end up being embarrassing, misinformed and just down right stupid. From HBO to Jerry Springer to even CSI, the topic has been trivialized, and completely misrepresented time and time again. Thank you so much for your extremely intelligent and well informed show! I'm hoping to get my girlfriend to listen to the show to help her better understand my fetish for diapers. I really think you guys explain things better then I ever could. I'm hooked on your podcast now and can't wait for your follow up. Keep up the great work!

Best,
Floyd Pepper

Posted by: Nova at November 5, 2005 02:04 AM

Floyd,
You just made our day! Honestly, if we have some positive impact while we are doing this show, it makes doing the show so much more satisfying.
We are a bit delayed in getting our follow up diaper show lined up due to conflict of schedules; but it will happen!
Thanks for your great note - feedback like this really keeps us going.
Best,
xoxo
Nova

Posted by: J at November 5, 2005 02:12 PM

Wow,
Its great to be praised for properly representing the AB/DL world. I want to thank all those who made the comments they did. A and myself continue to want to do more also, and infact I am currently researching web publishing programs, and trying to figure out where I would like to go with building a website. Chances are the soonest you would be able to see a site from us is May 06, but those who follow the AB/DL world expect to see us on the bytemine links list, or some of the other links sites with in the next year. Again thank you all, if I'm lucky I may even convinve A to let me post pictures of us and our adventures.

Thank you all...
J

Posted by: A at November 21, 2005 06:43 AM

A, myself just read what J posted lol Hmmmm so you think so dear? :P Pictures!! EEk I suppose I need some more cute boots and to do a few more reps :) MAybe if we take fun pics MAYBE in Germany over Holiday vacation Maybe I can convince J to somehow post them somewhere ... but that is alot of maybes. Maybe I will not wear a diaper at all in Dec or panties growl hehe just kidding honey :P

xoxo

still around
A

Posted by: G at December 17, 2005 10:46 PM

I know this is way after the fact, but I loved the podcast. A and J, it was great to hear your story and how you are exploring together in such a positive and open-minded light. Bravo! I wish you all the luck in the future, though I think your relationship is so far advanced that luck has nothing to do with its continued success.

A, from what I heard on the podcast, it sounds like you would enjoy cloth diapers. They're much more comfortable than disposables, even more so than underwear, in my opinion. I highly recommend Babykins brand, www.babykins.com, a small company in Vancouver, BC. Their diapers are like wearing big, soft, poofy clouds. J, if you like the sound of the crinkling plastic, Babykins makes covers out of all different kinds of materials: soft and quiet vinyl, noisy crinkily vinyl, heavy polyester, a slightly noisy nylon, and natural rubber. They even make rhumba (frilly) pants. Anyways, they're my favorite brand, so I just wanted to share. Again, great podcast!

Posted by: Nova at December 18, 2005 07:35 PM

G - it's never too late to post. the wonderful thing about podcasts is that even years after the fact, someone finds it and it's a new show to them.

We are still getting in great feedback on this show. We've locked in a date in mid January to interview a diaper fetishist here in SF and go a bit deeper into the fetish itself.

Stay tuned!

Posted by: D at December 23, 2005 03:10 PM

Dear Nova and Attica,

I was just wondering: how is your current stance on the diaper fetish? Perhaps before doing the podcast you've heard of it vaguely, but now you basically know all the ins and outs.

Is it something that has drawn the interest of you guys? Have you perhaps been experimenting with it?

Posted by: J at January 17, 2006 11:33 AM

I had a feeling it was only a matter of time till someone asked this question. Im not sure of your level of experience with the whole realm of Diaper fetish D, but I think its fair to assume that the majority of us who enjoy this fetish have felt how we do about Diapers for a long time, and though in some cases, my wife A for example, the interest develope over time I would say that is a very small percentage, and typically it would be caused by one member already having that interest. Im not trying to answer for Atticus or Nova, just stating that from what I have learned about them I would guess that they have not tried it. And the only way I could even guess them to try it if they ever did would be if they were playing in an age play Daddy/daughter type relationship, and even then I think it would be a rather extreme situation, or perhapse if either of them developed a very fond love of humiliation. Again im not trying to answer for them, but it would be a flat out lie if I tried telling you im not interested in the answer to that one myself.

Posted by: Nova at January 20, 2006 11:08 PM

D&J - I agree, it's a great question =smile=

I would love to say we tried diapers already, but we haven't *yet*. J, you have great insight in us. Neither of us has a strong interest in diapers, but I can honestly see us trying them out at some point. But I think it would be a lot more sexy and fun to play in that realm with someone who has that fetish. The desires and sexual energy of another would make for a more interesting experience.

And you are also right that if one of us had the strong desire, the other wouldn't hesitate to try it out.

If/when we do, we'll be sure and share it with y'all!
xo

Posted by: Chris at January 23, 2006 07:55 PM

Hello to A and J and to the hosts, Wow! what a great thing to have stumbled upon. I have been interested in diapers for quite a long time. I am married to a a very wonderful lady and sad to say that my diaper fettish isn't part of our relationship. I brought it up once with her and she just couldn't deal with it. Perhaps part of the problem was that I was shaking with fear as I told her. Perhaps had I been more confident as I explained it, it might have been easier. Suffice it to say, that since then, it has not been brought up. On most days, this isn't a problem for me. I love her enough that I just keep it in my mind. But, on some days, it is really hard not to have someone to share this with me and to not be able to lay everything in my life out before my wife. I am posting here because frankly, I tried the ab/dl lists for a while and got so tired of the spam, the back stabbing, etc that I pulled away from those communities. From what I've read here, it seems as though the diaper fettishests who post here have their heads screwed on and are not afraid nor are they incapable of engaging in adult conversations. To Nova and Aticas, thank you so much for what you do. I'll look forward to your next diaper fettish interview. Take care all.

Posted by: J at January 24, 2006 10:53 AM

Chris,
Comments like yours just now are what make me really want to start a community site or even community organization, one as free of spam as I can get it, though that seems nearly impossible these days. But at the same time I have a new/old find that may spark your interest. There is a community site called www.aby.com which is basically a collection of profiles where you can hopefully find more level headed people. There are a few gallaries there too, but mostly some of the classic finds. This site was closed for a few years and as far as I can tell just recently came back online which is why I call it a New/old find.

As far as the situation with your wife is concerned, and this is only my thoughts, do not mistake them for the thoughts of a professional. I would say that you should really look at things and see if this area of lacking is causing any trouble in the relationship itself. I mean if you have an outlet to get what you need safely on your own (ie Dressing yourself up in a diaper while shes away at work) and thats enough for you then maybe asking for more is not the best thing, however if you feel you need more from her or you will look somewhere else (ie. Want a mommy, or play partner, or want to diaper her) then its best to bring it up again but timing is everything. Having no knowlage of your wife I would say your first bet is to make her as comfortable as possible and sit her down and have an open honest discussion about it. Let her know your not forcing her into anything or demanding anything but just want to have an open honest discussion and hopefully answer some questions she may have. I would say the hard part for you is over though, you have broken the ice and put it out there, now what you need to do is not convince her to start taking an active role in it but to accept it as part of you. Once she has done that you can eventually take the next step of asking her involvment.

Im not sure that this will help and actually I should have A respond because her not having the fetish herself may be able to give you a little better insite as to things your wife may be thinking, now keep in mind though A is kinky and into all kinds of other BDSM things so she may not see it exactly as your wife does, but womens perspectives always help, and I have no doubts Nova is gonna jump in here with some advice as well.

Best of Luck to you.
J

Posted by: Chris at January 24, 2006 06:10 PM

Hi J, Thanks for your thoughts. Just so you understand the situation a little better, my wife was raised by parents who chose not to discuss anything sexual in any way or fashion. She was raised in a fairly religious home. At this point, we are both fairly religious, but certainly not as rigid as her parents. She has learned everything she knows about sex basically from me. I have moved as slowly as she needs me to, because this is all fairly new to her. Before I married her, those sexual partners that I had had were fairly experienced and were in a much better position to either discuss my fettish or just say that it didn't interest them. It wasn't as though someone had opened the door and yelled boo! So that's where I'm coming from. I would appreciate anyone's thoughts and ideas as long as they continue along the intellegent line of discussion that has prevailed on this cite so far. Thanks to everyone who has posted so far. You help me more than ever to realize that while this is different and many if not most people will not understand it, I myself am not sick. There is really nothing wrong with me. I am not some kind of pervert or child molester or anything like that which many people may associate with this fetish. Again, thanks and I look forward to further posts on this subject.

Posted by: A at January 25, 2006 07:48 AM

Chris, It sounds to me that your wife has a background comparable to my J. HE can give you some insight into what it is like to feel like a fish out of water. Through my spectrum of experience I better relate to your side. Personaly I feel like J and I are starting something completly new. We are pioneering our future through sharing our past and incorporating our new found loving "sessions". We are both feeling awkward once again in our own skins.

I too agree that I am not sick. CONGRATULATIONS on coming to a similar conclusion.However I allow for moments and expect creeping thoughs of guilt, remorse, and confusion about aspectsof my life. When those feelings surface I explore them. Little by little I provide proof to myself that my activities are safe and that I have a LOVING union with J. I think this keeps my thought processes healthy and grounded.

Be well,
A

Posted by: J at January 25, 2006 10:55 AM

Chris,

I understand how your situation might be a difficult one. I think maybe a differant approach would be a better on though. Maybe what you need to focus on is not introducing her to Diapers but just Fetishism in general. And im meaning just encouraging her to read educational nonjudgemental studies. Nothing pisses me off more than when someone does a study and makes it a very one sided means to proove thier point so make sure you pick on free of oppinions both for or against fetishes.

Now speaking from a non religious stand point myself I would say that religion is good for some people however when a person's religion is suppressing and causing them to hold back from true human nature then I believe its too strict. I do not believe God, Allah, Budda, Jesus, The Lord or what ever name a person gives thier god would want humans living thier lives with out having fun in it. Sex in all its forms is fun and to say we can't have fun with it is a bit extreme.

And besides, if memory serves me right Nova was raised a Catholic in Boston and she has progressed into being more than ok with BDSM/Fetish things so perhapse your wife, given a little time, will break free of these bonds and ask for differant Bonds.

As a question though I would be curious of your age, and length you have been married. I mean that could be a significant factor in your wife accepting this part of you.

Posted by: Chris at January 25, 2006 08:57 PM

Hi J, Thanks for your thoughts. In answer to your questions, I am 31 and my wife is 28. We will be married for 3 years in April. Thankfuly our religion is not one that prieches that people cannot have fun or especially not have fun during sex. Thank you A and J for taking your time to have this discussion with me. I must say that it is one of the most intellegent discussions I have ever had on this matter. In other discussions, I have asked questions and people have answered back so much so in the persona of an adult baby that the answer was nearly meaningless. Where have you guys found "nonjudgmental" studies that can serve to educate on fetishes? Thanks.

Posted by: Chris at February 13, 2006 10:33 PM

Hello to all of you who have read my comments and/or have rsponded so far. Last Thursday night, I told my wife calmly and clearly what my diaper fetish was all about. I spent more time telling her how it affected me positivly and less on what actually happened. We've had a couple of discussions about it specifically and we've talked a lot more about our other intimacy issues both now with each other and stuff from our past. She has asked me to give her some time on this one which makes a lot of sense. Because these discussions have knocked a lot of things loose for her from her past, and because she has a lot of questions, she aske me to set up an appointment with a counselor who I have been seeing. I hope this will go well on all counts for her. This has not been easy, and by no means is it over yet. However, it was this podcast and the resulting discussions among the listeners as well as your conversations with me that finally got me to say what had to be said. Thank you for your support. I can hope for the best that in time she accepts this part of me. Or, barring that, we work out something that works for the both of us. She has told me that I shouldn't worry about our marage ending. Thank you all again.

Posted by: J at March 22, 2006 10:18 AM

Alright, Sorry its taken me so long to get this posted but Im still catching up again from my month away. I wanna say that I am very glad to read your last post Chris. i can only imagine how scary and difficult it has been but I think over all it is a very important conversation you had with your wife.

You have gotten the hard part of addressing the problem over with, and now its im simply a matter of coming to some sort of terms. She may very well choose to not take part in this aspect of you, however it seems as though she would at least be supportive in allowing you to explore it on your own. Maybe she will allow you privacy to at least get your "Fix".

The important thing is this great weight is in the open and the only way to find any resolve for the situation is by having it in the open with her. I again wish you the best of luck and please keep me up to date on how it all works for you. Im sure the whole Fetish Flame community here would be willing to offer you support each in thier own way.

J

Posted by: mike at July 8, 2006 04:42 AM

wonderful discourse on this subject. healthy perspective. good people explaining who they really are. i'm one of you. yes, my wife knows. we both have open minds about this world, thank god.

Posted by: Kanji at July 26, 2006 07:39 AM

It's absolutely amazing to see such intelligent, unbiased discussion on this topic. It's very refreshing to see a couple like J&A talking about this so candidly. It's something I, personally, have always had a very difficult time coming to terms with, especially when I got into what I knew would be a long-term relationship. I love her so much that I really wanted to share my diaper fetish with her, even if she didn't want to get involved, but the topic of sharing it with someone is something that I had just never thought of. Communicating with her about it has always been really hard, even after I initially told her, I just couldn't talk about it.

Our relationship is actually very similar to J&A's. I actually listened to this podcast with her after first finding and listening to it on my own. We'd done some diaper play before, but were never really able to communicate with each other this openly until now. Just in the past few days, our relationship has become more intimate, more loving, more understanding than I ever could have imagined.

So, to Nova and Atticus, A&J; Thank you. Thank you so much. The world is a more interesting place with people like you in it.

Posted by: DLK at December 9, 2006 06:41 AM

Hi. I just stumbled onto this, and I found it very interesting. Will write more laer

Posted by: DLK at December 9, 2006 06:41 AM

Hi. I just stumbled onto this, and I found it very interesting. Will write more later.

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